Todays Unexpected Turn Around An Unexpected Corner

I began this post headed in one direction, only to abruptly turn in another.

My hope was to expose the myth behind the Christian claim that there’s, “Freedom in Submission.” The Christian Model for Marriage as it’s outlined in Ephesians 5 was to be my starting point.

But midway through, I stopped, closed my computer, and took my dog for a walk. I realized I was getting choked by the weeds.

My dogWhen talking about any bible doctrine or theology, weeds are inevitable. Until the book itself is discredited, there’s no escaping long diatribes in defense of its teachings.

One need only do an Internet search of terms like, Christian Model for Marriage or Godly Husband or Godly Wife to see how convoluted and complicated this topic truly is. Trying to make sexism NOT look like sexism takes a lot of words and re-defining of terms.

I don’t read Greek. I can’t examine the copies of copies of copies of the original Greek text to uncover some gem that explains why I’m subjugated. All I’m qualified for is to explain what this doctrine did to ME psychologically.

So I bailed on making an argument.  Instead, I asked myself, “Why do so many women defend the Ephesians model for marriage ignoring the blatant sexism at its core?”

Having been in that culture for so long, it simply comes down to this. To many Christians…

  • The bible is the ultimate guide for Christian living
  • The bible is the inspired Word Of God
  • The bible is trusted by their leaders who say to trust it, so they do
  • Rejecting bible teachings is an unrecognized option

Therefore, Women will continue to be subjugated and taught to like it and males will continue believe in their God-Given supremacy. 

Why would they look for a better model for marriage when the God of the universe already outlined one that’s ‘perfect’?

Women are not equal in our society and we never will be as long as the Bible is the gold standard for enough influential people.

We all see how Christianity has wormed its way into the lives of believers as well as unbelievers. It has a death grip on society as a whole.

  • Presidential candidates are practically forced to pledge their belief in the Christian God… Even if they don’t truly believe.
  • We swear on the bible in a court of law… Even if we think the book is rubbish.
  • Children are taught to say, “One nation, under God,” when they recite the Pledge of Allegiance… Even if they aren’t Christian.
  • “In God WE Trust” is stamped on our currency… even though I am the WE to which it refers and yet do not trust the Christian God.

I have no idea how we break the bible’s grip. My blog isn’t going to make a ding in that armor. And it won’t make a ding in the arguments against the Christian Model for Marriage, either.  But this post has made me re-think the purpose of this blog. That’s the unexpected turn around the corner.

I thought I knew why I wanted to start this blog. But now, I’m not so sure of its purpose. Am I purging what’s left of the angst? My approach isn’t going to attract Christians who don’t want their faith challenged, so why’d I put my story out there?

breakfreechainWhen I was 17 and baptized in the holy spirit, I wanted to shout my love for Jesus from the housetops.

Now that I’ve given Jesus the heave-ho, I’m feeling that same desire. To shout to the world that I’m free of the patriarchy. Free of the nonsense. Free of the God who’d subjugated me.

Maybe that’s all this really is. A way to shout without blowing my cover in my little corner of the world. It’s a “coming out” of sorts, without the full exposure. And now that I’ve done that, maybe there’s no more posts left to write.






8 thoughts on “Todays Unexpected Turn Around An Unexpected Corner

  1. You make so many good points in this post! So what if your blog won’t cause a believer to change their mind right away? Don’t let that be the standard you measure yourself against. Consider how we became free. Was it some spectacular moment? Was there one particular post or book or something we heard that changed us? Sure, we can point to certain milestones and particular insights. But *many of those over time* had the most profound effect.

    I see these this like individual drops of water which do have a profound effect over time. Water is an apt metaphor here. A drop of water under the sink, so what? Another drop, so what? But over time, water will damage the wood. It can even carve canyons!

    Please, write whatever you’re passionate about! I’ve been an unbeliever for about 10 years and even I feel encouraged by your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for that encouragement. Makes all the difference. And to your point, it is so very true that things come to us a little at a time. Any one of them in themselves would hold no power. Put them all together though, and it’s sure to have weight. Sometimes enough to break a person.

      Your comment makes a difference! Every little one!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree with Marty, but of course for different reasons. It’s good to write and share what you’re passionate about, what moves you at the moment. Since most of your posts are a sort of purging of anger held within, now maybe you don’t have as much to get out. Perhaps you can start sharing about what has filled your hole that used to be God/Jesus/etc. Certainly it’s not all angst…

    (What breed of dog is that?)


    1. I think that’s true. There’s really not much anger at this point. I’ve gotten through the grief stage … I’m now marveling at the many ways the world looks different and better without religion. But leaving is not without its dark side.

      Photography and cooking fill some gaps for me. Cooking is a weird kind of thing. For a long time, I’d associated cooking with “a woman’s place” and therefore resented it. Once I left religion I found the pure joy in cooking and found I’m actually pretty dang good at it. It no longer feels like something I’ve been relegated to because of gender. So I can love it now … Love the textures, the aromas, the beginning, middle and end of a meal. It’s turned into therapy with every slice of a veggie. :o)

      My little love is a wire-hair dachshund. He’s a senior rescue we’ve had now for just about 5 years. Has a rough history … so we dote on him extra hard!


  3. Hope you’re not gone for good. Your blog is always a joy to read, not just because I like and agree with the subject but because the writing is also top notch. There’s heavy contemplation behind what you write and that translates to wisdom. We really can’t have enough voices to say what you’re saying and do so eloquently and calmly. Besides, ideas are meant to be communicated, tested, sown and given away. You never know exactly what change that one thing you once wrote or said publicly will effect down the line so don’t fall into the trap of feeling pessimistic because the change isn’t immediate or clearly visible.

    Liked by 1 person

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